Monday 3rd of July and the Tour has finally arrived. Sitwell is going to drive down on his own whilst most of the others are more sociable and will meet at Ansty for the Richard Nichols excursion. The mini-bus will pick up David Hawke and then Motty on the way.

Sitters decides on an alternative route to normal and takes the M23, M25, M3 and then the A303. Fastest route says the AA - if the M25 is clear says Brian, stuck on the road for ½ an hour. However the rest of the journey is uneventful and Sitters arrives at Curry Rivel where he stops for refreshment at the Bull Hotel. Venturing further he locates the ground for the match on the following day. This is quite pleasant but obviously they have rabbit problems - Joe beware. The square has not been prepared yet but the ground is going to be OK.

Meantime it is hoped that the lads in the mini-bus are travelling well.

Sitwell arrives at the Cleve Country House Hotel at around 2 o'clock and ventures inside. Andy Thorne greets him and with an orange juice and lemonade they chat for a while. As time goes on Brian phones Shaun only to be told that they have only just left Newick! Wind-up if ever there was one! Not falling for that Stilly is informed that they are well on the way.

Eventually with Brian sitting in the car outside the Cleve, noise from the direction of the drive alerts him to the arrival of the tour bus. After a few gear changes Richard manages to scale the hill into the car park. Here tales of a long stop for nature to take its course are related, pointing the finger at one Pierre Le Scargot.

The bar is visited and after a while Mark Hizzey makes an appearance. Sitwell is surprised, as he was not on the tour list. After rearranging the room plans we make our way to unpack.

The Tour party is very relaxed and soon they are on the way to Fitzhead for the rearranged match. All members are now aboard with Mick in the driver's seat. As soon as we start we stop - at the garage at the end of the Hotel drive! Here we wait patiently while Mick, Richard and Mark H put 3 litres of oil, at nearly £5 a litre, into the engine. The lads left inside can only look and admire the local vistas.

Having found Fitzhead via a slight detour before leaving Wellington, having missed a turning, we locate the ground without further trouble. The pavilion is locked and we wait 15 minutes until someone arrives with the key. Roger arrives with Jim and Barry having made the journey from Butlins. A quick change and Ginga informs the team that we are fielding. Twenty overs later we find ourselves needing 161 to win. The Captain (Ginga) plays well and scores 51 to set us on the way to victory. Roger scores well and the arrival of brother David sees some frenetic running between the wickets. Andy Thorne arrives to see the Ansty team perform! With a possible victory in sight Richard Nichols goes out to bat but soon returns with 1 to his name. Now it becomes difficult, as it is obvious the better bowlers are on, and the side falls 7 runs short. The match was quite entertaining and enjoyed by all - the tour really had begun. The lads then drive to the local pub for a meal and a drink& ldots The Treasure Hunt is taking place all week and some take the chance to obtain items for a point or two.

Back to the Hotel and Mick doesn't wait for anyone as we rush over road junctions - going uphill in this vehicle you can't slow down! Here the usual shenanigans take place, as you would expect! The first court sitting takes place with Judge Motty handing out fines, mainly for what happened in the mini-bus on the way down. After that some members take the opportunity for a frame of snooker on one of the two tables available, while others go straight to the bar. After closing time the Hotel has left some boxes of the liquid stuff in the guest's lounge on sale or return. Cards are played until exhaustion takes hold and finally the die-hards are on their way for some sleep.

Morning arrives and most of the party meets at breakfast. Pierre has already been down to the garage for a paper. Nice Bloke is the last to appear. The breakfast is greeted with great enthusiasm, as the food is excellent and there is plenty of it! The comment from most is that it is a welcome change not to have to cook first thing in the morning! Hadders name is mentioned once again, remembering the sound of smoke alarms. It is raining this morning and prospects for the match do not look good. Despite this the brave, and probably foolhardy, Motty, Squawks, Shabs and Sitters venture into Wellington. They have instructions to purchase a 5 Litre can of oil for that 'choice' vehicle. This is purchased at a total cost of £6.95 - a fraction cheaper than last evening! Richard contacts the rental company and finally they are persuaded to replace the oil thirsty mini-bus with another that will be driven down to the afternoon match. Gez arrives in his usually immaculate way, having been abroad last week. The morning passes slowly and it is no surprise that Curry Rivel contact Brian to say that it is raining heavily and the match is unlikely to go ahead. They agree to wait a little longer and will ring again. Meanwhile the lads play snooker and take more light refreshment. Keith and Scott (Manager and Assistant Manager) judge the bad taste competition and it is no surprise that no one can now remember who won. The mobile phone rings again and the bad news is that the match is definitely off. Scott suggests that he ring a local pub to arrange lunch and something to do for the afternoon. The lads agree and the call is made. Scott agrees to drive everyone to the pub in the mini-bus and bring it back to the Hotel for collection. Richard makes yet another call to the rental company who agree to come to the Hotel instead of the ground. Everyone, well everyone but Sitwell, spends an enjoyable lunch and an afternoon of pool and skittles with the odd drink. Sitwell drives to the West Somerset Railway where in pouring rain he witnesses the departure of a train to Minehead. Returning to the Hotel, Sitters avoids the possibility of a fine by reading and jotting down what's happened so far on this tour. At last the rest arrive back obviously having enjoyed the hospitality of the pub. Mick has further enhanced his chances of good points in the Treasure Hunt by obtaining a hubcap and numberplate. The Hotel has provided us with an evening meal and we are once again delighted with the food on offer. Following the afternoon, the evening is rather subdued with snooker still popular. However Nice Bloke knows a song and soon the party is standing on chairs joining in " The Sunshine Song" . Bad mistake by three members, as the settee they are performing on collapses under their combined weight. At this point the Manager appears, but does not seem to be too concerned at damage. Oops! The evening card school is again in full swing, if that is the right word, as the lads are still not drinking as they would normally. Pie day arrives at the stroke of midnight and the lads tuck into pies made earlier the day by the Hotel chef.

Wednesday morning and no match again today as Fitzhead are playing their final tonight. Mark Hizzey and Vespa are returning home today as planned. Breakfast today is the more usual buffet, so certain tour members are in their element. When Mick comes down he announces that he also will make the journey home. Ray arrives just after breakfast having started out early in the morning. All the party decide that a trip into Wellington is needed and most are looking for last minute items to wear for the evening trannie night. Wigs are popular and several are tried on. Gez is hunting for more Treasure Hunt items and he spends some time trying to track down an elusive shopping basket. On our return we are pleased to see that the settee has been repaired - thanks Andy. The weather is dull and grey but it is not raining. As is usual in these circumstances no one can agree on something that all want to do. After a few more pies, six of the more adventurous, Sitters, Ginga, Evil, Squawks, Pierre and Gez decide to walk to a 'local' park for a game of Kwik cricket and after what seemed miles arrive to set up stumps. The locals must have wondered what was happening as the 'match' went on. Scores should have been accumulated but the counting leaves a lot to the imagination! The equipment is not best suited to adult cricket and soon becomes broken. Others play snooker and take the occasional glass. The Hotel is host to meetings so we wait until they leave before the garden cricket can start. As is common when cricket is to be played the weather has deteriorated and we take to the garden in very light drizzle. Teams are selected and the match begins, two innings per side, twenty overs an innings. Both teams have scored twenty in their first innings but the match is abandoned as rain is now much heavier and the players prefer the 'dry' lounge. We are informed by Keith that tonight they are to host a top girls school for a meal and presentation. It is thought that they are perhaps a trifle nervous considering that a cricket team dressed as females will frequent the property. Sitwell's phone rings and it's the Sports Argus wanting to speak to that prolific batsman and raconteur Rich. Taking the phone from Sitwell he talks about his batting but then mentions his score on Monday! Very interested they are too. The lads are preoccupied with what to wear with what and are sitting in the lounge when the Housemistress breezes into the room. " Hands off my girls" she announces and continues her way into the room set aside for their function. We all look at one another and smile. The girls then start to arrive having to pass the area where we are seated. Time to go upstairs and don our attire for the evening. All except the old codger (Stilly) get ready and return to the lounge. Meanwhile the meal for the School is laid out close to us, so that when the meal is ready all the girls can see us dressed as women. Two venture to ask what we are dressed up for and the explanations are given. Someone asks if they would like to judge who the winner is and they return to speak to their Housemistress. It is agreed that after their meal and speeches they would indeed be honoured to do so. Another meal is laid on for us this evening, and is again well received. The moment of judgement arrives and Ginga is stitched up to be number one to parade. Tom enters to a lot of screaming and clapping, followed by the others. The judging is by the amount of clapping for each contestant and it is agreed that Squawks is the winner. Really rather fetching in wig and short dress - and those legs! It has been agreed that we will also entertain with a song and we know what that means! Table by table are invited to join in and eventually everyone including the top table are standing on their chairs watched by a bemused Keith and Scott. After this we are thanked for the entertainment by the Housemistress before she departs. Simon is heard to say that this was going to be his most enjoyable day of the tour! The day has taken its toll and an earlier night than is usual is ensured.

Thursday and the weather is still poor. After yet another fine buffet breakfast it's off to Wellington once more. Gez is returning his dress from last night while others look for souvenirs. By this time the party are almost exhausted but on returning to the Hotel snooker and a couple of drinks are the order of the day. Rich has arranged for the pies to be warmed up and these are duly scoffed before we depart for Brompton Ralph. The replacement mini-bus is being used for the first time since its delivery two days ago with Rich at the wheel. We all pile into said vehicle and set off for the match. Rich comments that this bus has not got the power of the first one! Today is the day that we are not allowed to use certain words and already this is proving difficult. Surprisingly we reach the ground without any trouble having recognised the netting around it from some distance and using this as a guide. Roger, Barry and Jim arrive and Barry asks for the scorebook. Oh dear! Where is that book that was last seen at Fitzhead on Monday in the care of the Ginga? How do we tell Joe that his scorebook is missing? More to the point is who will tell him! For the moment all is not lost as Barry has an old spare book with him. So thoughtful our scorer. Brompton Ralph bat and under a bright sky the match begins. Jim Platt arrives with family as we field, although the weather is now more threatening. Brompton Ralph begin to make progress and we can see all around getting darker until it begins to rain. Rain it does and so we begin an early tea. It is soon obvious that no further play is possible and despite having just eaten thoughts turn to an evening meal. Rich phones the Hotel and Andy is asked if they could provide us with yet another meal. After a few drinks at the ground we return to the Hotel with another match unfinished to a meal that is really superb once again. This evening is to be only the second Court of the tour. Again Judge Motty is in charge and the lads are getting anxious. Before that the winner of the week is to be judged. Rich goes through the list and awards points. Stilly has not joined in with much, in fact his only contribution has been to eat one pie! Mega fine possible. The Judge hands out his fines and these are collected in a new container this year. Sitters pays up, much to the delight of one and all. Judge Motty announces that he is retiring as judge having been so for several tours. The evening continues in much the same way as previously with snooker, plenty to drink and the odd game or two that will remain the secret of those on tour!

We all retire at the same time tonight and Stilly is very slightly concerned! Shortly after retiring, noise comes from the corridor outside. Sitwell not the bravest individual turns over and tries to ignore it. On waking in the morning refreshed and just that bit relieved that nothing else had been heard he ventures out of his room. The cot that had been stored neatly away from harm had miraculously moved in front of Rich's and Shaun's room while a 'For Sale' board was neatly placed against Barry's and Gez's door! It is thought that Squawks and his roommates are responsible.

Friday and the day of leaving. Sitwell pays the bill after another superb breakfast and the lads pack for the return journey. Last minute goodbyes and we all leave the Cleve to recover until next year. The lasting impression of the week is that of a warm welcome and good hospitality of the Hotel. Oh and the food!

N.B.

It is strange that as the week went on the diary became less important and events may be slightly distorted due to tiredness! Well that's my excuse!

Last updated:
30/07/2000

Copyright © B Still
1997-2008

Url: Http://www.anstycc.org.uk/tour00.htm